Thank you Billy Crystal

A much beloved Muslim man died, the world grieved and a Jewish man eulogized him. 

Death, per se, doesn't bother me. We go when it's time to go. Sometimes we choose; sometimes Nature chooses. Some go quickly and some linger, but we all get there eventually. 

Still I cried... not only because Muhammad Ali died, but also because Billy Crystal loved him so much. What a passionate and hilarious tribute he gave. Then I watched a YouTube video of Billy's 1979 tribute to Ali and it was brilliant. Billy said, at the memorial service, that he got lost in that performance all those years ago and "became Ali". So true. I learned today that Ali called Billy his "Little Brother" based on the first time they met. A touching story. A life-long friendship. 

I cried and cried. My cat came to comfort me, mewing a sweet sound he only uses when I cry, trying to purr away the sobs coming from my heart. 

Then I listened to Josh Groban sing "To Where You Are" and finished my grieving...for today anyway. 

Immediately thereafter, I went into Nature. I basked in the glowing energy of the flowers all around: oleander limbs pulled downward with blossoms, a honeysuckle that has struggled for many years finally getting a foothold and beginning to shine. I observed fondly my small veggie garden: the onions, tomatoes, peppers and chives. I watered and pulled a few weeds. In my own quiet way, I worshiped the Earth. 

We Pagans must spend time with Nature, or we suffer greatly. To be happy on this slab of so-called civilization, we must be allowed to live within our own ethical code. Fitting ourselves into small boxes formed by bosses or general conformity causes us grievous injury. I may label myself, almost with Pagan Pride...but refuse to be labeled by others. 

The reward for a solitary Pagan practice...is blessed solitude, exactly what I need. 

I need to be the only energetic force in my space. I need the house to be full of emptiness so I can fill it with ideas and words. I need to write. I need to meditate. 

The outside world hurts me. I stay home, or near home, to dampen the pain that falls on -- and into -- my body -- out in the world. Even in the safety of my own little world, there are concerns to work through, fears to process and grieving to do... seeing Ali's children at the memorial service brought me face to face with the upcoming anniversary of my dad's death. That aggrieves me. 

And yet I laughed this morning. Then I cried. Then I moved into that holy space of grief, with Billy Crystal reminding me that in that oh-so-painful world, the one out there that drives me deep inside myself, a Jewish man and a Muslim man can love and respect each other. Build bridges not walls. 

I cried: grieving loss, missing loved ones, knowing that people are suffering, feeling the Earth's -- and the world's -- pain. Then I moved on into my day. Grieving on the go. 

My heart's a little more dented this morning...and a little more whole. 

If you want to see Billy Crystal eulogize Ali, go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMgPGbW1PGI