I have notified all the doctors that I won't be continuing treatment. I was respectful but firm. While the lump was here, I had to be more or less compliant, but in truth, I'm a very non-compliant patient. We're the kind who live a long time to spite those who said we wouldn't. And I have the win/win perspective of not minding whether I live or (in some non-specific but probably preordained length of time)...die. I am living my truth every day.
There is still some pain. Now my friends who've been operated on are saying six weeks to six months recovery time. WTF??! Oh well, it does seem to be getting better. A generalized tenderness, achiness and occasional deep stabs. Those are quick. There seems to be a little remaining swelling inside. The ice pack helps immensely and the Excedrin keeps me moving around a little. I even managed a few yoga moves today and pruned a few small branches from the apple tree yesterday.
Oh, and saw a hilarious movie just now. Probably explains my oh-so-light mood. It's animated and called Inside Out. Absolutely charming and funny. I really needed that little outing with my girlfriends. Grateful. Go see it! Or rent it, depending on the time frame in which you read this. In fact, buy it. It's probably a keeper.
Yes, I can go from...well...virtually any topic...into a discussion of movies. So there we go.
Now that it's been established that I will have (more than likely have a better than 80% chance) of staying alive for several more years, I can go back to writing about death and dying.
Some of my friends seemed surprised that I declined all further treatment. I'm surprised that they are surprised. It was never my intent to (have nor) fight cancer. But I did want the lump removed and I'm coping with how much they had to take. Funny looking, lopsided...but acceptable.
Moving on.
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