Done with Death?!? I Think Not...

Recently I took all my death and dying books, pamphlets, brochures, archives and articles and placed them at the back of my closet. It’s symbolic, but also a statement of fact: I’m done with death for now.

Not to say I won’t help – or listen to – someone who calls with questions, or make a referral to a hospice or the national Compassion & Choices organization. I will always do those things. But I’m done with setting up events, hosting them and encouraging people – mostly strangers – to talk about death.

Of course, I’ve already gotten all my final paperwork done, so I can afford the luxury of playing with a new beau rather than having to have those heart-felt conversations. 

I’ve done all that…

Have you?

If not, let me encourage you... 

(OK, so I am still at my death work, but only peripherally) 

...to fill out your Advance Directives. A Healthcare Power of Attorney, perhaps a Mental Health Power of Attorney, your Last Will and Testament (which is basically just making your wishes known…you’ll need further paperwork if you want things of value to go to the appropriate people with fewer complications.)

A good place to start is with the Five Wishes document. I’ve heard arguments both pro and con about it. It’s quite “user friendly” so people will actually do it, and you get it notarized, so it’s legal – at least in Arizona and several other states. But an argumentative relative can undo all your planning, so make sure you’ve spoken to them, too.

It’s not easy to do. But once it’s done (and reviewed every five years or so), you can put your death and dying fears and phobias at the back of the closet, too.  You can enjoy the remaining days, be they few or many, knowing that “if I die today”…all is well.

I have a friend whose body is shutting down. She has finally reached the place where she feels that “if I die today, I’m as happy as I can be” phase. I’m very happy for her. I feel that way every day.

So do your death work. Get it done, share it with docs and family and friends. And let it go. 

Live every day as if it’s your last…

and your first…

makes life lots more fun and fulfilling.